Yesterday

Yesterday I went to a funeral. I didn't want to go. I dreaded it like no other funeral I'd ever been to. I started to cry before I even got there. I cried the whole way through. I usually have a good handle on death. I have always felt the hope of a better life for those who have passed on, and have never felt the pain. But not this time. The death was of a 3-week-old baby girl. I had never met her, never met her good mother, and am not close to her father. But her sudden death rocked my world. Losing a baby has always been my worst nightmare. I watched the family come into the chapel. Her father carried her tiny body in the smallest casket by himself. No pall bearers needed, just her daddy. The tiniest things are so heavy sometimes. Her mother amazes me with her strength. Her poor little brother wept and could not be comforted. He is the same age as Jeremy. I told Jeremy that his friend's baby sister had died. He said, that's not good. I told him that the cupcakes I made had to go to their family, so there wouldn't be any left over for him. He was okay with that. I hugged and hugged and hugged some more, and found the strength I needed. I learned so much yesterday. All from the death of a little one I never knew. I was reminded by our sweet bishop of the everlasting love of our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I was reminded how precious my time is with my own children. I came home with a renewed vow to cherish the time I have with them, to soak up their fun, and relish the demands they put on my life.

I am so blessed.